I, Cheryl Harrison the internship collector, have been on at LEAST 25 job interviews in my short life. I’ve actually worked 12 different jobs and have declined/been rejected from several others so somewhere along the line I just stopped keeping track of the never-ending stream of interviewing I’ve drifted down. That being said, I just got back from what we’ll call interview number #26 and am still a little shaky and sweaty. Why? Well, panic disorder and an over analytical personality don’t really HELP, but the fact of the matter is no matter how many job interviews I go on, no matter how many times I tell people what my strengths are and why I want to work for you and BLAH BLAH BLAH, it never, ever, ever gets less shitty. Here’s why, brought to you by lolcheryl:
First and foremost, as lolcheryl so eloquently said (sidebar: none of those words except “know” translated through the lolwiki and I didn’t want you to think I was an idiot for writing the lolspeak “no” when the rest of the sentence was in perfect effing English… but moving on) I CAN’T MARKET MYSELF. I can do it online, I can do it on paper reallllly well, and I can do it through my portfolio and recommendations… but look me in the eye and ask me why you should hire me and I start shaking like a whore in church (who started that phrase and why the hell is that all I can think of to write here?)
I can tell you I’m hard-working, I can tell you I have experience, I can tell you I’m adorable and thusly nice eye-candy for the office (I should try that one) but I’m not telling you anything you can’t read on that piece of paper on your desk called my resume or that any semi-intelligent person wouldn’t have read verbatim on an interview Q&A site (which, by the way, I have a word document of answers to questions from that site that I study before everrrry interview.) The thing is, I really am a hard-working person. I really do have more experience than most people I know 10 years my senior who have long-since graduated and gotten jobs they are probably overpaid and underqualified for. BUT I have issues figuring out how to sell myself without being arrogant and without undermining what I have done, can do, will do. I ALWAYS, without fail, end up leaning towards the undermining track and getting run over by the interviewer train.
Secondly, I HATE the questions “What’s your dream job?/What do you want to do with your life?/Where do you see yourself in x number of years/Do you foresee yourself eating bologna or salami for lunch on April 16, 2052?” Um, check back later, por favor? Now, according to best-job-interview.com I’m SUPPOSED to say “My ideal job is one where my knowledge and skills are put to good use. A job where I will learn and grow as a person and an employee and where I am given challenges that test my potential.” OR “I believe a job is what you make of it. Each position and company has unique characteristics that give meaning and value to that job. If you work hard and make the most of the opportunities given, you will find job satisfaction. I am enthusiastic about a position that allows me to learn and grow and to make a positive and meaningful contribution.”
That’s some bullshit, and it’s also not what you asked me, Mr/Mrs Interviewer. If you wanted my generic take on what a job ideally is you would have asked me that, right? But you asked me what MY ideal job is. Or am I expected to follow scripted QA guidelines? ‘Cause if I am, if that’s HONESTLY the answer you’re looking for me to regurgitate back to you, please don’t hire me because that’s not who I am, k? Or should it be who I am in that setting? Should I Google a generic response to a generic question… or should I tell you the truth?
‘CAUSE THE TRUTH IS I HAVE NO EFFING CLUE, KTHX.
I really thought it was a hell of an accomplishment for me to know what INDUSTRY (PR/MARKETING, fyi) I wanted to be in. I didn’t know I needed to know the company’s name and my job description. The truth, my friends, is that I am 19-years-old (you probably don’t believe that) and a college senior (still hard for ME to believe) who has changed her major 3 times and has finally found an industry she/i/whichever-voice-i-was-just-typing-in LOVES. Marketing/PR is fascinating to me: it’s ever-changing, it’s challenging and it mandates creativity. I thought I was golden for having gotten that far at this age, considering I know 27+ year-olds still trying to nail down that undergrad concentration (you get ’em, guys… lol?)
I’m just trying to figure out where I fit into that industry. My *dream job* is to star on Broadway but what the hell does that have to do with this job interview for a marketing firm, exactly? I accidentally said the Broadway thing once to receive an awkward look and a “we’ll-call-you” response. Never got that damn job… and it was PR for a theatre company… ironic… ha. The answer I usually give is “I really don’t know (the truth) I’m just trying to get as much experience as possible in as many different areas as I can now so I’ll know what I want to do after college (the truth).” I have been told multiple times by giving this answer, today included, that I need to find a direction/path/focus. Erm, I’ll get back to you about my life’s “direction” when I’m old enough to buy a beer without my sister’s ID, thanks? No? Eh.
I’m not bitching about the quality of today’s interview/interviewer in any way, for the record. I was asked some good, though standard, questions, which were pushed far enough that I could no longer answer them, which is when I went into CherylPanicMode… dun dun dun dun! Ask me 5 times the aforementioned questions about my future and watch how my head turns… I dare you. No really, please don’t, I’ll probably cry as it takes much restraint for me not to do this in interviews, ha. But aside from THAT, she introduced me to a local board game club and lives in my ghetto apartment complex, which we lamented for a while, and she was awesome.
The POINT of all of this is… where do you draw the line between being yourself and following interview etiquette? I know plenty of people who have gotten a job reciting the scripted responses…
But seriously, if that’s the kind of person you hire, if you’re really looking for a carbon-copy of a google search result…
you wouldn’t want me working for you anyway =)
Suggestions/Additional Bitching highly encouraged.
Cheryl Harrison 
With interviews it’s really about how well you can sell yourself for the position – honesty comes into play on your resume, in person they want you to tell them what they want to hear (it seems).
Now, the question that you have to ask yourself is, if you said “I dream of being on broadway” and they look at you weird, would you really want to work there anyways? I’ve heard mixed things – like people putting down hobbies/interests (I like The Simpsons, playing guitar, whatever) and HR passing because of it – and other places see those as shining examples of “this person would be great to have in the office, we like xyz too!”
It’s such a toss-up. You have to put on a front for HR and then be yourself to your potential co-workers so they can see how cool you are (and HR can see how homogenized and pointless their job is).
Having been on both sides of the interview table a number of times, I’ll give you my $0.02.
Being comparatively old, I’ll skip the ‘well it USED to work like this’ kinda stuff – the hiring process has changed a lot since I entered the workforce (late 80’s), but many things still ring true.
The purpose of a resume is merely to get you an interview. These days, its purpose also is to get you past the resume-bot software they’ll invariably use to weed out those lacking the proper keywords.
Depending on the size/nature of the target company, your first interview will be with some HR drone (bad), or directly with someone who can say “yay or nay” to hiring you. HR drone interviews suck, always asking the same questions of each applicant. My opinion is that you need to kow a bit and tell them what they want to hear, but be mindful not to answer all questions TOO “correctly”, lest you be written off by the HR goon.
The ultimate goal is to get face time with someone with hiring authority. In my profession, by the time you’ve made it to the hiring manager (you made it by the HR drone, perhaps talked to one or more nerds to assure them you know your ass from a PCI card, etc.), they are only there to make sure you’re a ‘good fit’ and have the personality to meld into their organization. It pays to ‘be yourself’, unless you’re an asshole. 🙂
Unfortunately, I can only speak for the IT field. I’m not sure how it works in other industries, but I imagine it sucks just as much.
I’ll echo keif here – it’s all about selling yourself. There’s a jillion other people with your same skills, so why should they hire YOU?
I’ll also agree somewhat with the ‘you need to choose your career path’. You mention you’re still in college; at this stage if you can just narrow it down to a field, that would be helpful (perhaps you have?). It sounds like want to work in the performing arts/theatre – I would think that would narrow things sufficiently at this stage. Would you write? Perform? Produce? Drama? Musicals? Perhaps you don’t know yet, and that’s ok. At this point you’re probably just looking to get your foot in the door and start getting your hands dirty in your chosen profession.
Yeah, interviewing blows, but try not to get discouraged.
Persistence pays off.
Believe in yourself and don’t take “no” for an answer.
that is the truest of all things that i have heard all year long